Let's talk about the Oscars, where a bunch of rich, old, white men arbitrarily choose between a handful of popular Western films whilst ignoring the majority of films from other parts of the world because they're not about rich, white people.

Whilst we all know that Park Chan-Wook's The Handmaiden was the best picture of the year by far, let's humour them and analyse the sometimes terrible and sometimes justified choices that these people made...